I take a non-process view of communication, relationships, and/or conflict by not abiding by some of the steps. For example: the initiation phase. I tend to be passive aggressive about issues that make me upset or uncomfortable, and I do not always make it known that I am experiencing these negative feelings. Most times, I would much rather avoid the awkward or tense conversation about my displeasure with another person than to cause a commotion. I tend to think of myself as a people-pleaser, so it is difficult for me to address situations that may upset the other party. I can change this way of thinking by being more forward and outright when I feel upset, and I can try to fight my fear of confrontation. In the end, I need to realize that initiating a conflict is in fact helpful to a relationship, and it can strengthen its foundation.
Also, I tend to see things as unchanging, and not as a stage in development. When a conflict arises, especially a reoccurring conflict in a relationship, I have trouble viewing the situation as more of a "glitch" in the process of development and growth. I instead begin to feel hopeless, and my first instinct is to shut down my drive for a resolution. I can fix this tendency by being more patient and mindful of the different factors that are possible causes of the conflict. This will give me a better understanding of the conflict, and how to break it down for more clarity. This can lead to a productive discussion with the other party and, eventually, growth in the relationship.
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