Chapter 12, Discussion 3

   I found the idea of homeostasis in terms of relationships to be very interesting. I've heard of this term being used in scientific scenarios, but it makes sense in the relationship sense too. It seems sensical that having a goal can help to maintain the relationship because it give both parties something to strive for and work together to achieve. This is also an insightful look into why conflicts can easily arise in these types of relationships. If environmental factors get disturbed and hinder the goal from being accomplished, it causes friction between the couple. However, these conflicts help to further the progression of the relationship and make it stronger. Especially when the goal is to stay together, as with marriage, changes in important factors such as friends, family, or work can cause a conflict to arise. This then brings need to come to a resolution that works for both parties, which makes the relationship more comfortable and satisfying for hose involved.

Chapter 12, Discussion 2

     False attributions that I have made about another have exacerbated many conflicts in my life. I tend to blame other people for issues that arise, rather than realizing that sometimes things just go wrong without the fault of any one person or event. I tend to feel unsatisfied with the resolution of a conflict if it does not involve placing blame on someone or something, which I realize is immature and only makes conflicts worse. I believe this is because I subconsciously don't want to take the responsibility for my part in poor situations, or I need something to point my finger at if there seems to be no specific cause (attribution error). On the other hand, I have had moments when I have properly placed attributes onto another that has kept me away from bad influences or people that would take me down a bad path. Conversely, I have also made good attributions about people and kept close to them to have positive role models and influences in my life.

Chapters 10 & 12, Discussion 1

     For the word "forgiveness," I found a total of 55,400,000 sites. In further studying the sites listed on the first few pages, I discovered that many of them talked about the psychology and health consequences of holding grudges and the importance of forgiving someone. There were also a few sites about the Bible and its definition of forgiveness. This word had the second most results of the three terms, but I think it would have been first if it weren't for a t.v. show title that I will discuss later in this post. I believe that there were more sites on the power of forgiveness than reconciliation and revenge because it has a direct effect on our health and well-being. Forgiveness is also a skill that requires a great deal of practice and personal growth. I think it is more difficult to forgive someone as an individual than it is to work with another party to reconcile, or to find a way to seek revenge. Reconciliation is based on the needs of two or more parties, which makes it a little bit easier to determine because there are multiple people working together on the solution. Revenge is simple, harmful, and not suggested to solve an issue with another person.
     Reconciliation had 52,300,000 sites on Google, and most of them had to do with religious topics and war. I think this is because reconciliation, as previously mentioned, involves two or more parties going through the process of ending a conflict. Also, I found that the top sites on the first few pages were sites giving the definition of reconciliation. This may be because many people get it confused between words such as compromise, resolution, and forgiveness. Revenge had the most results by far, 264,000,000, but this is because there is a popular new television show with the same title. Otherwise, I think that this word would garner the least amount of results because revenge can be harmful, ineffective in solving an issue, and, in many cases, illegal. I would hope that this word would not have as many results because there are people trying to prevent potentially dangerous sites from being posted. However, the internet is a free medium that is not policed as I believe it should be, so I am grateful that the television show is dominating the Google results pages.